| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|08:26 am] |
Really... idk its just good read it
"I'm not supose to be scared of anything
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exausted
and nobody understands how I feel
I'm trying hard to breath
But there no air in my lungs
Theres no one here to talk to
and the pain inside is making me numb
I try to hold this under control
They can't help me cause no one knows
Now I'm goin through changes.. changes
God I feel so frusturated lately...
Feeling weak and weary
walking through this world alone
Everything they say, every word of it
Cutts me to the bone
I've got somethin to say
But now i've got no where to turn
It feels like I've been buried undernether
The weight of the world
I try to hold this under control
They can't help me cause no one knows
Now I'm goin through changes.. changes
God I feel so frusturated lately..."
Yah.. good song. I <3 Three doors down like no other |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|12:38 am] |
Rain on me, I got a weakness in me
I think that weakness feeds me.
I don't think you think you need me.
Sunshine your the best time,
I ever ever had.
But I think I made you feel bad.
The black fly on your neck tie,
Time after time
But when the sun starts sinkin on your beautiful soul
Make me cry, cry baby, make you feel so cold.
Don't you know its all right?
Sometimes.. your just gotta show how you feel,
Cause thats you baby
.... Your so real. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|08:28 pm] |
"We can not seperate, your part of me and though your invisible,I'll trust the unseen. I cry out with no reply and i can't feel you by my side so i'll hold tight to what i know your here and i'm never alone."
"Grays my favorite color, black and white has never been my thing"
"What if i stumble, what if i fall? What if I loose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl, what if i stumble.. what if i fall?"
"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean.. Still you here me when I'm calling."
"I am yours"
"Maybe this time I'll speak the words of life with your fire in my eyes, But that old familar fear is tearin at my words what am i so afraid of? Cause here i go again talking bout the rain and mullin over things that won't live past today. And as i dance around the truth time is not his friend, this might be my last time to tell that you love them.." |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2006|09:23 pm] |
"Hey now you crossed that line, you can't come back tell me how does it feel? Its to late, to much to forget about"
"I'm a wreck, I'm a mess, I'm a spot on the pavement"
"All work no play may have made jack a dull boy but all work no God has left jack with a lost soul"
"Good morning the night is over and gone, I thought once this dark would last for so long, feel the sunlight on my face you have brought me through this place... Jesus.. you found me"
"Its was a beautiful letdown the day I knew that all the richs this world had to offer me would never do. In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubts I was trying so hard to fit in until i found out, that I don't belong here"
"One more anthum for the know it all I won't be standing up for long, better learn how to crawl, in 10 minutes i'll be layin down flat on the floor."
"She was crazy for you, now she is part of something that you lost and for all you know this could be the difference between what you need and what you want to be"
"What will we do what will we say when its the end of this game that we play will we crumble in to the dust my firend? or will we start this game over again?"
"I'm the first kid to write of hearts lies and friends"
"I've seen a rich man beg
I seen a good man sin
I seen a tough man cry
Seen a looser win
Seen a sad man grin
Heard an honest man lie
Seen the good side of bad
and the down side of up
and everything in between"
"I don't know what there going to think of next genetic engineers of the most high teck, a couple new ways to fall into debt i'm a nervous wreck but I bet that that TV set tells us what we wanted to hear but none of these sound bites are comin in clear."
"At the end of the day life is not what i thought it was 24 hours ago sitll i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you and i'm not who i thought i was 24 hours ago still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you"
"I won't tell you a damn thing that i could not tell my friends i'm alive but i'm alone part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone."
"I miss the life, I miss the colors of the world. Can any one tell where i am? Cause now again i found my self so far down away from the sun that shines into the darkest place i'm so far down away from the sun.. again."
"I know you feel alone, thats the same road that i'm on" |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|03:20 pm] |
Conversation between shell and mom today.
Mom: Shell.. Did you have cigerretts in your room?
Shell: Yes *tone of voice: slightly cheerful in a yes I did why do you ask, completely innocent face*
Mom: Why?
Shell: I was holding them for someone. :-D. *tone: very confident and matter a fact* *thoughts in head: wtf ahhh. no. she is going to killl me*
Mom: ... kaay. *tone: questioning and unsure but accepting this story*
Shell: *smiles*
*subject droped*
Haha. ClUeLeSs... Wow. lol. Why do people normally have them? No mom I was keeping them under my bed in a box behind something just to see if you ever go through my stuf... yah. sure. lol.
The End. |
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| The Lost's Bedtime Prayer |
[Mar. 15th, 2006|08:29 pm] |
Now I lay me down to sleep
on my pillow where I weep
Broken from attempts to fill the hole
The world has left within my soul
And if I die before I wake
You'll never know the smile was fake
So tearfully I pray tonight
That tomorrow I will see the light
--Michelle |
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| Shadow of a Captive |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|08:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Searching for a way out,
Eyes clouded from all this doubt.
Holding out for the light,
Confusion is all thats in sight.
Reachout out for something,
Asking "Why?" but getting nothing.
Lullaby of screams in an unshielded ear,
The song of the lost smothered in fear.
Innocent bombarded form every side
Pure hearts are forced to hide,
Masked in ice cold emotions and tall walls.
The father seems to ignore the child's calls.
The cry for redemption was really so feeble.
Do you care for these people?
Ignorant question raised in pain,
Life wasn't supose to be this way.
It feels like a gullible wish, love and hope,
An unreachable prize on a broken rope.
Now is the time for change and still we wait
When we reach the end.. What is our fate? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|11:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
Conflicting Messeges
Knowin there is so much to hold on to
But wanting more than anything to let go.
Running away must be the best option,
The fears are starting to show.
Can't help but feel so alone.
Broken heart to scared to try,
Always ends up saying good-bye.
If love is so steady and unchanging,
Why does it always just leave me?
Tears have started and now steadily flow.
Optimistic heart holds onto hope.
How much can one soul take?
Have faith he want ask to much.
His is the one true love,
Thats one thing that I know.
And even so.. I wish I had a hand to hold.
Just one person to call my own
Ah. I'm so sick and tired of.. Idk being here. I want to be there.. alright in all honesty i'm not sure where there is.. but its got to be better then here. I feel so alone. I've had my ups and downs with my self confidence the last few months.. i'm definitly in a down. I feel like I look so.. thhhhhhh :-P. ack. Idk. I don't care.
I want someone to hold onto.. or I just want to let go. Yup.
I offically feel completly defeated. I feel ack, I can't do anything right.. I've lost a bestfriend.. I have no boyfriend.. I have.. to go to bed.
Things will be better tomorrow. *things hopeful thoughts*
ShellBell <|3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|06:01 pm] |
Hey Peeps.
Ahh today was good. For the most part.
I did a lot of thinking today and thinking is bad.
I hate how much things have changed over the years. I mean I hate it and at the same time I love it. I love how much I've learned from it. Every emotion I have brings a different lesson on shelly. Okay I'm goin to make a list
5 Things I've learned so far in life
1) The only friends who are worth having are the ones who TrUeLy love you for you. No matter how stupid you act or how much you screw up they'll always be there to pick up the pieces {they may pretend they don't know you while your acting dumb but they still love you). lol.
2) Many friends come and go but family is forever. No matter how screwed up yours is never loose all faith in them you never know what may happen.
3) GOD! Is my reason for living. The only reason I get up everyday. I could never make it with out him. Even though i screw up CONSTANTLY! lol he's always there waiting for me to come back. His compation and mercy amazes me. I'm nothing without him.
4) Just because you love someone doesn't mean their right for you. That may be hard to accept but God has a plan for you and you have to follow that and not what you want.
5) Just because you feel something (sad, mad, heartbroken, jealous) doesn't mean thats how you truely feel or what you want or need. You just have to sit back and ask God for guidence and then time will help you see the way you truely feel and what you need.
Those are some things I've learned so far.
I love you who ever you are that reads this (probely no one)
ShellBell |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|05:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mercyme | ] |
Yes I know I post this poem to much.. but I'm in love with it
Cause it can change meaning to whats happening in my life.. idk if you get what I mean.. but yah.. i do. so here you go my favorite poem I've ever wrote-
Wishing hugs were longer
Take the feelings that are screaming
to say dreams that won't be told.
Take the time to see the pain
that is filling up inside.
Constant beating down of hopes,
while black tears ignore the fear
that can never be erased.
Strong winds bring constant change,
twisted tattered breaking down.
So many atrocities unspoken.
Simply turn a blind eye
from things they like unseen.
The broken souls march on,
miss used and so abused.
Things won't ever be the same. |
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myrunawayheart's journal